World Vegan Council Declares Mountain Biking Non-Vegan

Citing the rationale that consumption of honey is non-vegan due to harm done to bees during the process of farming honey, the World Vegan Council has declared mountain biking to be a non-vegan activity due to insects being harmed by mountain bikers. The vote was unanimous. According to Stevard Plomnar, President of the council, it would be hypocritical to consider mountain biking to be vegan when so many insects are crushed to death over the course of a ride. “No, you absolutely cannot call yourself vegan if you mountain bike,” said Plomnar, shaking a clenched fist to emphasize the point. The decision by the council is sure to cause consternation in the mountain biking community. Over the next few months the council will be considering what other recreational activities the ruling will be expanded to include.