7 year old caught stealing barber’s bike

A yound man who went by the name “D-Boy” was spotted in his barbers backyard after going home from barbershop. D-Boy said that “his head looked like it got boiled in raw fish and then cut with tweezers”. The boy took this anger out on the 63 year old, 346 pound barber “June June”. When caught, the barber beggined to pop the boy on the hand but with a cheeseburger distraction, the boy was able to get away. He then fell and died as the broken down mongoose bike fell apart as its last wheel got to loose to hold the raggidy bike together. In a week, a funeral with a bubble guppies theme(the boy’s favorite show) will be held on Wednsday at 11 a.m.