Abington man found impersonating bartender for years

In a crazy story that broke late last night, Abington police have revealed that they have discovered an Abington man that has been pretending to be a bartender for several years at many different bars in the Roslyn area. Police became suspicious when customers would spend hours upon hours at the bar and never leave drunk, thereby minimizing revenue for the state. It is only after a sting operation at the local VFW, they discovered that the man, John Anderson, was so completely incompetent that customers would go thirty minutes or more before being served their drinks. The man would instead, stand around telling stories to astonished customers , who at times seemed confused as to why drinks were not being served. Upon further investigation, they then discovered that he never had any training in bartending or customer service and had simply been masquerading about town pretending to be one.
Charges have been filed and the case will be heard in the ninth district sometime next week.