BREAKING NEWS Akron man accused of kidnapping

He told the parents he was training them for body building, but in actuality he was training them for world war 3 as part of a secret genetic mission which involved pumping 3 year olds with MASSIVE amounts of testosterone. he called the program XXXman. each child who would make it out alive would go to his ” lab” where he would just wear a lab coat and scar the children for life by flashing his man marbles and giving them a document of completion. after shaving his head and pretending to take on the imperssonation of xavier, he didnt need the superpower of mind reading to know he was going to be put away for a long time. This morning, officials seized pounds of the drugs after having to fight thier way in through the piles of sick and dying angry children.