Church shut Down After Children’s Easter Egg Hunt turns sexual

A locoal church in Franklin, Virginia, has been banned from opening its doors, pending further incvestigation, after a childrens Easter Egg hunt went terribly wrong. According to the police department, and several parents, the preacher of the Clap and Praise Episcapal Church For the Love of Zion held an Easter program, which was targeted towards the pre-teen and teen children of the church. The Purpose was to teach the blooming youth, not only about the resurection of Jesus, but also the fertility references to Easter. Parents and smaller children were asked not to attend, which, according to a local witness, none thought was an unusual request by their trusted preacher.
“I just let mines go, ’cause they said they would have a eating afterwards, and I ain’t feel like cooking,” Explained ex-member of the church, Cherish Johnson. “I ain’t know all that mess was gon happen! How could any of us?”
According to several members of the church, the preacher strippped naked, and then was hanged on a cross by hired professional sex models, both male and female, using silk scarfs. After a lenghty speech about the resurrection of Jesus, and also how fertility and renewal is represented by Easter, the paster was masturbeated to climax by two of the adult female church members.
The other adult members disrobes, and the attending teens were urged to search for eggs in the orafices of the adult church family’s body.
“It’s just a goddamn shame!” Another concerned parent had to say. “My baby prolly ain’t going to never want to see no pussy again! I want grandkids!”. Twenty-four year old Evette Spivey added that she plans to sue the church for mental damage to her seventeen year old child. She also added that she does not want the actions of the church memebers to reflect negatively on her nor the other parents. She would like everyone to know that she still sells crab plates and does sew-ins from home, and she hopes that her business is not tarnished by somthing that she had no knowledge or control over.
The preacher, along with several other members of the church are being held without bail, and all refused comments.