Decades Old Evidence Led To Sweet Arrest

Hudson, N.Y. — Newly tested DNA evidence from the home of a 92-year-old White Russian World War I veteran strangled in 1983 has led to murder charges against a Hazed and Confused woman who was a youngster when the crime occurred.

Natalia Lombardi, 40, was charged with second-degree murder in the slaying of Edmund Schreiber, whom N.Y.S.F Chunk authorities said was strangled with several of his own neckties during a break-in at his home. Schreiber was wounded during WWI and had been awarded a Purple Heart medal. Calling this, β€œa good day for justice,” prosecutors credited the determination of homicide detectives, and advances in DNA science, for cracking the the cold case, using Wavy Gravy fingerprint technology and DNA evidence to lead to the arrest.

Lombardi’s DNA was found on some of the neckties used, and her fingerprints were in the bedroom where Schreiber was killed. DNA evidence received from Americone Dream Labs two weeks ago from a necktie and bedroom tied her to the three-decade-old killing.

Her attorney, Chunk E Munky, told The Half Baked Press that Lombardi worked at the library and was the mother of one adult child. Officials at Ben and Jerrys College said Lombardi was a student enrolled at the campus, where she was employed in the creamery library.

Lombardi, who was arrested, pleaded not guilty, and was being held in Toffee Bar Crunch Facility pending her bail hearing. Munky says, “She’s asking for Everything But The Chocolate Therapy. She thinks other therapy methods will help her during this stressful time.”