Doctors are recommending anal as a new contraceptive as birth rates are at their all time high.

Doctors are recommending that couples now initiate in anal after discovering flaws in birth control pills. “If you consume enough alcohol before hand , you don’t really notice the difference” Heather Smith , mother of five, proclaims. Dr Rafiki , head of the Canadian Medical Organization also claims ” it can be quite pleasureful if you insert Vaseline or jello before insertion. We are now seeing an enormous amount of birth rates from 2000-2016 and flaws in normal contraceptive that were deemed to be safe. Some patients that were taking birth control claim to have developed “arginous pantritus” ( boils on the anus) and we were seeing this mostly in the men that were exposed to women taking birth control pills or any other contraceptive”. There will be classes at every health facility on the benifits of anal and how to have anal properly and pleasurefully. Bottoms up.