Hunter found in woods after 5 years

Local Hunter Scott Spaulding was found wondering on all fours in the Maine woods after 5 years!!..when questioned he stated ” I was out hunting,had my gun on the target when a pack of wild coyote surrounded me, I was taken by surprise as they overpowered me and made me their bitch for over the last 5 years!” When asked ” what’s the 1st thing you’d like after 5 years ?” Mr. Spaulding stated ” a good proctologist!”