Jeff Marling was presented with the highest award for married men, Husband of the Millenium. He beat out over 65,000 other candidates, and, according to award Chairman Clark Griswold, won with ease. “This is such an outstanding honor.” Mr. Marling replied. “I couldn’t have accomplished this without the support of my hard work and determination. Thank you, Mr. Chairman, and my thanks to the committee for selecting me.”
Mr. Marling states that he will spend the $250,000 award money on things that will greatly piss off his wife. With the cash, he is also entitled to free beer at all local bars, restaurants, and taverns.