Joe Blair and the Blairtones to play live; Cinco de Mayo no longer cancelled.

In what is being called the “event of the Millenium”, local rock heroes Joe Blair and the Blairtones are scheduled to play at Tess’ McGeary’s on Friday May 5, 2017. Speaking about the gig, lead bassist Zach Maskin told us “Unless you pay me cash right now, get that mic out of my face.” After handing the Master of Bass $17, he was still very tight-lipped but let us know that “We (Blairtones) will be debuting a new song and we expect all ladies in attendance will be soaking wet by 11pm.”

When asked about the band, Tess Collins, owner of McGearys told us “I have no idea who those guys are.” Upon learning who was actually in the band, she took a step back and said “Oh, those guys. Yea, it’s the least I can do to thank them for the tens of thousands of dollars they’ve given me over the last 15 years.” When asked how old everyone in the band was, Tess told us “to go fuck ourselves.”

The event is scheduled to begin at 8pm and the band will be taking donations. They made it very clear the donations will not be going to charity.