Last Remaining Heterosexuals Get Married!

Mona Mia Kracke, aka “Mia, the Marrying Kind”, will be looking for a new line of work today at 4. That’s because at 3:00, she will be marrying off the last certified heteros remaining in the wild. Upon the Supreme Court’s ruling that discriminating against same sex marriage, people came out of the closet in droves. Research shows that the far right ultra-conservatives were correct: gay marriage ruined the world. Mia’s job as an ordained minister will no longer be relevant – at least until the Supreme Court meets once again to decide on the case of Juan Hunglo v. The State of Confusion. This case was filed in the lower courts the day after the Supreme Court’s decision regarding gay marriage. The plaintiff wishes to marry his goat. He was recently quoted as saying, “baaahhh” Stay tuned for updates!