LOCAL BABY MURDERER APPREHENDED

Buffalo, NY resident BERNERD COYNE was arrested Thursday April 27th at approx. 16:36. COYNE has been wanted by national authorities because of his connection to the murder of at least 17 and a half Norwegian babies. The subject was apprehended after police were alerted of a disturbance at a Tonawanda Mighty Taco, where after assaulting several patrons, assaulted 7 Tonawanda officers before being tazed shitless like a lil beyatch haha. That lil niggey got it son. Like whaat