Local Department store arrest

Diane Shoenberger of Altoona was arrested April 29th 2017 at Boscov’s in Altoona for public disturbance. “She came in around 3:00 pm and asked me if our fudge was on sale.” Bertha McGroovins of Bullscreek stated. Ms. McGroovins just started her first shift at the local department store. “I explained our fudge was not on sale and she picked up a bag of caramel popcorn and ripped it open with her teeth and proceeded to throw it at customers. She even got the children around involved.” “She coaxed the children into throwing any of the snacks they could find at the customers, it was chaos.” Shortly after Ms. Shoenberger was taken down by local law enforcement. Officer Chitlins had this to say, “In all my 94 years in service I never dealt with the strength this woman had when it came to apprehending her which is saying a lot as I’ve dealt with bath salt crazed fiends and demonic possessed housewives.” “The children cried when she was taken off to squad car.” We caught up with the Altoona police department and they stated they are having a hard time at the downtown barracks as children are picketing and throwing fudge at officers. “We can’t arrest children” Cheif McNuggets said “and honestly the fudge is rather tasty, Thank goodness it’s not full on Summer cause it would be really sticky.” Ms. Shoenberger’s bail is set at $500,000. Bertha McGroovins has since quit her job and leads the charge to free Ms. Shoenberger