Alaska State Troopers Arrested local Fairbanks Resident Michael A. Bizzarro in the early hours of April 29th.
State Troopers responded to a call at local Adult Entertainment Club ‘Club Sinrock’ at around 12:09 A.M, where witnesses said Mr Bizzarro had forced his way into the club and began to remove his cloths and “dance provocatively” with patrons of the club.
One employee told State Troopers: “He just walked inside and began screaming something about how upset he was the way the show Deadwood ended on HBO. I then heard him yell ‘ill show you some Dead wood’ and he began removing his pants and started giving people lap dances, it was weird, because he earned more tips in 5 minuets then I had in the passed 3 hours”
When Sgt. Vivec entered the club, he encountered Mr. Bizzarro giving an “aggressive lap dance” to Congressman Don Young, who had also been attending the club, but asked to remain anonymous.
“He was a pretty good dancer actually” said Congressman Young, “but he kept hollering: How the FUCK are you gonna end Deadwood with a cliff hanger like that, and then just cancel the show?! God damn BULLSHIT”
Mr. Bizzarro was arrested without incident, other then telling responding officers that he had read online that they were supposed to be making a Deadwood movie.
“They better make that fucking movie, i just need to know how it all ends. What the shit happens to Al Swerengen? Ian Macshane is a underrated actor” said Mr Bizzarro while being placed inside the Trooper car in cuffs.
Mr. Bizzarro is being held at Fairbanks Correctional Center. His Bail is set at 1 follow up Deadwood movie, or at least a 4th and final season to wrap everything up right. Anyone with further information is encouraged to contact HBO and tell them to Finish Deadwood, because between this and the Sopranos they are really fucking it up for everyone.