Man single-handedly “eats booty like groceries” for 34 hours straight

A 21 year old man from Upper Darby, PA has officially broken the Guiness World Record for longest consecutive ass-eating session with a partner.

Although his name is not to be revealed until further notice, the man who goes by the psuedonym “πŸ…±οΈam” has officially beat the world record previously held by a Springfield man by the name of Kyle Kegel, after a session of 29 hours.

On interviewing πŸ…±οΈam, he cryptically mumbled the words “Kyle Kegel has 2 L’s in it”, which may be the reason this record was broken with such ease. Ladies, watch out for your groceries in the future. No booty is safe.

Bonus articles available in the coming days.