Mike Krzyzewski Calls it Quits

Mike Krzyzewski has announced that the 2017-2018 season will be his last. With more than 40 years of coaching under his belt, he has decided that since he has coached longer than most rival coaches have been alive and is old enough to be his players great grandfather, then it’s time to try something else like checkers or bingo.
His constant whining to the refs and screaming “F” bombs during games have taken its toll on him recently and to make things worse, his barber has ran out of midnight black hair color.
The NCAA had this to say. “We are saddened to hear of Mike leaving us. Now who will the high school teams beat up on in the NCAA tourney. This leaves no chance for high schools like Lehigh and Mercer to ever advance in our tourney again!”