Mike Mazzarone Resigns from Being Libertarian

In an unprecedented turn of events, Mike Mazzarone stepped down from head of Multimedia at the news network beinglibertarian.com early Friday.

Mazzarone stated that “having to do actual work was a burden on [his] busy schedule” of sitting around and doing nothing.

“I couldn’t possibly be bothered to do actual work while not being paid. I need money to buy fake Twitter followers, after all.”