Siloam Springs man masturbates to death

Siloam Springs. A man identified as Johnathan DeVore was found deceased this morning in his living room. Authorities state that the man appears to have masturbated himself unconscious and was drowned in his own drool. A tablet loaded with gay porn was located next to the victim and his next of kin acknowledged that he had been yankin it totally too much in the last few weeks. Local doctors warn that this may have been caused by a genetic flaw and relatives should be watched closely for signs of excessive wanking.