Antonio Coltress missing testicle found

Tony was found distressed in the high street of Lewisham after having the smaller of his testicles entrapped in the doors of the 435 bus and running attached to it for five stops towards Ballingham.

The lost testicle was finally located with the help of an electron microscope, tom tom sat nav and metal detector.

Tony is said to be unstable in hospital awaiting the assistance of a magnifying glass and a magnet.