BURNLEY man Simon belcher caught having sex with a potato

Staff at Bellfields fish & chip shop in Burnley Lancashire caught belcher in a sexual act with a potato
It’s alleged belcher had cut a hole in a potato and removed the insides then filled it with lard
Staff heard moaning and growning coming from the back room and went to investigate and found belcher with his pants round his ankles wearing suspenders and fishnet stockings and bra with his penis stuck in the potato
Belcher was suspended from his job in the chip shop pending further investigation