Drunk Elvis Stabs Scooby Doo Impersonator

Local Keystone Light enthusiast Ethan Johnson had a night for the history books when one too many 40’s plunged his life into chaos. Ethan was quoted as saying, “Chuck E’ Cheese has the best pizza, but its hard to get a table for one in that place when you look like me.” His drunken stupor led him to conflict with the robot cast on stage, much to the horror of the children watching. After dismembering a giant mouse and beheading Grimmace, he then vented his frustation on the staff, stabbing the Scooby Doo impersonator with his house keys. Johnson remains on the run, last seen driving through a multi level parking garage screaming, “BUSH DID 7/11!”