Fecal Matter Discovered In Mans Anus

LOCAL man named Ian, has been seen partaking in strange rituals to expel fecal matter from his anal orifice. Doctors describe it as ‘simply disgusting’ with them explaining ‘the final act of digestion, by which organisms eliminate solid, semisolid, or liquid waste material from the digestive tract via the anus. Waves of muscular contraction (known as peristalsis) in the walls of the colon move fecal matter through the digestive tract towards the rectum. Undigested food may also be expelled this way, in a process called egestion. The anus and buttocks may be cleansed after defecation with toilet paper, similar paper products, or other absorbent material. In many cultures, water is used for anal cleansing after defecation, either in addition to using toilet paper or exclusively. When water is used for anal cleansing after defecation, toilet paper may be used for drying the area afterwards’.
The man has been arrested for heresy.