Former Woonsocket Rocket Scientist Wanted For Questioning

Woonsocket, RI (AP) – A Woonsocket resident and former Woonsocket Rocket scientist is wanted for questioning in regards to the disappearance of several weiners by the Woonsocket Police.

Tim Forcier, of no known permanent address, has been accused by the Missing Woonsocket Rocket group for grand theft of the weiners, which is used as fuel for the rocket. He was spotted carrying a large, greasy bag of an unknown substance, and leaving the distinct smell of onions in his wake.

He is also wanted for theft of a horse. Any information regarding the suspects location is urged to
call somebody who really gives a shit.