James Patterson ASSASSINATED by 14 YEAR OLD named Kofi!!!!!!

James Patterson was recently killed by a 14 year old. His last name was not revealed for safety reasons, but his first name is Kofi. He was recently featured on a Verizon commercial earlier in the year. Witnesses say the young man attempted to shoot what looked like an “alien blaster,” before realizing it was fake and attempting to strangle the author. After that didn’t work, the boy pulled out a pen and stabbed the author near the heart area, while shouting “GREEK MYTHOLOGY IS A LIE!” The boy’s lawyer is pleading insanity, but the jury is leaning towards proceeding with charges. If acquitted, Kofi faces 5 life sentences in Russia’s infamous Gulag.