Local Man Eats Breakfast For Dinner In Desperate Attempt To Reinvent His Life

Washington, DC.—After taking stock of his life and coming to the conclusion that he needed to make some serious changes, local man Vincent Matteoni reportedly opted to eat breakfast for dinner Friday in a desperate attempt to reinvent himself. “I figured it was time to stop sitting around waiting for good things to come my way and instead take some action,” said the man who forewent the decision to join a gym, or seek a promotion in his effort to find some fresh perspective in his life, opting instead to have vegan eggs, several links of fake sausage, and two pieces of toast in place of a more conventional dish for his final meal of the day. “I’ve been putting this off for way too long, really. In a few years I’ll be 60, so the time to make a change is now. Otherwise, there’s no telling what kind of rut I’d dig myself into.” Mr. Matteoni added that in addition to switching up his diet, he also planned to change his TV-viewing habits, swapping prime time dramas for prime time situation comedies.