Local Runner Fuming

Just ask any good runner and they will tell you how important it is to have the shortest running shorts possible. James Bondi of Naperville (previously mentioned as 38k per year fishing coach) is hot and bothered by local Darien ordinance that requires running shorts to cover both butt cheeks. In our exclusive interview James said it’s just another example of liberal Dupage County sticking it to the man. James was unaware of the new ordinance until getting busted at Waterfall Glenn in Darien by an undercover officer that Bondi claims has followed him an and unnamed special running friend. James said they took a quick break into the woods and then were harassed once getting back onto the track. James now says he has switched running partners and found basketball shorts left in the fieldhouse by a local hooper. Bondi also talked about harassment in local communities he runs in for leaving his nipple tape on while running. He says that it was a simple misunderstanding after taking off his shirt on a hot run with his Friday exercise partner. James finished the interview by admitting that some of his shorts could be considered grape smugglers but he is tired of the liberal demands being placed on average joes like himself.