Local Woman Arrssted After Defecating On Police Vehicle

A Chicago woman was arrested in Jacksonville, Florida after reports of her defecating in a local park. When police approached her she hurled rancid turds of shit at them as she made her way to their vehicle. She then climbed on the police cruiser and continued to defecate. Witnesses at the scene were quoted wondering in disbelief how she could have shit so much. She was taking from the scene in cuffs yelling “I shit on them! I boo boo!” Bond is set at $10,000