Man arrested for withholding sex for over a year.

A North Carolina man has been arrested for suspicion of unwarranted celibacy and general douchebaggery. David Harlem, a Cumberland County resident, was arrested Friday, after authorities learned he had no sexual contact with his wife for over 12 months, and also prohibited her from doing any fun drugs, or spending money on important things regarding her quality of life. Both charges are felonies and Harlem faces the death penalty if convicted.