Man poops pants, and sues Taco Bell for Liability.

New York resident says that he was looking to “think outside the bun”, as he had seen in recent Taco Bell ad campaigns. What he didn’t expect was what would happen “south of the border” after he ate it. This NY resident, who wishes to remain anonymous, ate Taco Bell on his lunch break, thinking that the food chain would be a welcome change from the burger joints that he had been frequenting close to his place of business. The closest Taco Bell to this man’s employment was 20 minutes away, but after doing the math, he believed he could do the round-trip on his hour lunch break. What he didn’t expect was the pot hole repair work that was taking place on the LIE (495), which would added an additional 40 minutes to his trip back to work. While sitting in traffic, he felt a rumble in his stomach, which were soon accompanied by cold sweats. It was than that he realized that he was about to “Live mas”, trying to find a place to relieve himself while far from his workplace. With traffic at a standstill, he frantically looked for ways to “run for the boarder” in search of a porcelain receptacle to expel the contents of his stomach. It saddens us to say that, because of the traffic on the LIE, this NY resident did not find a bathroom in time. Although he did everything in his power to avoid a one-person-accident on the LIE, wherein he squeezed his butt-cheeks together, tensed his body in to a 45degree angle, and kept the radio off in order to “concentrate” on the job at hand. All of which could not save this man from the fate that awaiting his underwear. Embarrassed, the man went directly home, threw out his underwear, and showered. Immediately after his clean-up, he contacted a local lawyer in order to see there was any legal precedence for suing the food chain for the soiled britches. Many may be shocked to learn that in the early 80s, legislation was passed to protect US residents from just such colon mishaps. His lawyer has issued a statement that “his client intends to sue Taco Bell for the full price of the underwear, and that he would use all money from the settlement to ‘super size’ a future order.” It seems that there is a happy ending for this man with a “super sized” heart, who’s only fault is trying to switch up his lunch time routine.