Millions Flock to New City Founded by Michael Paone

Fed up with nonmonogamous relationships & social justice warriors with big hearts but small brains, millions of citizens last night moved to Yellow, USA. The city located somewhere in the USA, boasts the first Bulletproof Cafe outside of shitty Southern California, Montessori schools on every corner & gene editing for all. “Things just make sense here,” said local resident Melanie Chopko. “When I ask someone on a date, they don’t cut and run to avoid their inner demons!”