Earlier today, while shopping at the Glen Burnie Walmart, Oriole 3rd baseman Manny Machado, was beaned by a mid-size pomegranate. Police canvassed the area but failed to apprehend any suspects. Surveillance videos are being reviewed now.
A visibly upset Machado took a few momentts to talk to reporters on the scene:
“I was walking through the produce section when I heard that too familiar sound. Before I could even duck, a f*#king piece of fruit hit me square on the f*#king forehead. I swear, I felt like I was in f*#king Boston. I don’t expect this kind of bulls*#t here in Maryland. Who the f*#k throws a pomegranate at someone?? Next time I walk through here, I’m grabbing a f*#king zucchini and I’ll be ready to throw down with the next *sshole who feels like hurling a f*#cking fruit at my head.”
All shoppers have been warned and the next person to hurl a fruit (or vegetable) will be immediately ejected.