Papi to Return to Red Sox

Ever since Boston’s Big Papi officially called it a career last September, the Greatest DH of all time has certainly found ways to keep his brand fresh. From releasing his signature Arias Wine donning his mother’s maiden name to promoting his new book aptly titled after his famous moniker, one thing has remained constant. Red Sox fans all over the world have hung on every social media post and dissected every word spoken, asking the same question. ‘When is Papi coming back?’. Well ladies and gentlemen the long awaited decision has been determined and its just in time to save this mediocre Red Sox season. Fresh of his Honorary Degree from Boston College David Ortiz has indicated in a recent interview with long time friend and journalist ,Dan Shaunessy, that he intends to return to Boston’s lineup bringing his much needed power and leadership to a struggling baseball team. He is quoted as saying, “This is my F’n City and No one can take that away from Me. Not ISIS, Not President Trump. Not even John Henry or Dave Dombrowski. This city couldn’t win before me and now they can’t win after me. Like my boy Tom Brady I’m doing what Giselle told me to do and I intend to return after the All Star Break. Kinda like Clemens, but Ill actually play everyday.”
Ever since the announcement his fellow teammates have been all over local media expressing their excitement.
“We will finally have that missing piece back”
…..Xander Boegarts
“He my boy. He’s gonna play 1st right?..Yeah he’s my boy”
…..Hanley Ramirez
“Having David back will certainly save the season….and my job”
…….John Farrell