By Morgan Kendrick | Washington
In a surprise move today President Donald Trump issued an executive order essentially outlawing satire. The move came after President Trump received tremendous pressure from both sides of the aisle. “Nobody likes to be made fun of, least of all me,” the president explained at the signing ceremony. “I’m not against jokes. I love jokes. I know all the best jokes. But saying I’m the President of MachoNachostan, or leading a Cheeto Republic, that’s not funny. Sad,” Trump added.
Thin-skinned liberals and ultrasensitive ultraconservatives alike have hailed the order as a victory for the feeble minded. “I’m certain that with the evils of satire behind us, I will be able to overcome the Russian President and win back the White House for real Americans in 2020,” touted former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
The executive order achieves its goal by giving the Department of Justice authority to police satire as hate speech. “Of course it’s hate speech. Only haters write that stuff,” President Trump said as he signed the order.
The ACLU has begun planning its challenge.