Woman found seeking pleasure in an unusual place

You know sometimes whenever you feel there is just something weird happening. Well I am here to tell you that this day it happened.
I was being followed by a strange woman all day. First spotted her at a place where I was looking for travertine floor for my new home.
After I left the establishment, i found that I was being followed. I decided to go to Publix, a local groccerie, to stay in public not understanding why I’m being followed.
So I went to get my lunch and I do enjoy some good veggies. While I was grabbing some potatoes this woman proceeded to grab a cucumber from the shelf and forced it in herself. She was wearing a dress so this was easy for her.
Others started to notice what she was doing. Kids started seeing it. It was horrific.
I just left and low and behold I am being followed by the same car.
I called the police upon a suspicious person following me. Let them know what I had witnessed and what was going on that very moment.
I decided to pull over and confront this person. She did not take it well. I was able to talk to her unknowingly for her the police were on their way.
I heard the sirens coming and I turned to look. She had stuffed herself with this vegetable whipped it out and knocked me out by hitting me in the back of the head.
Within my conscienceness I came to and the cios got her. Apparently she had a warrant for drive by vegging.
She is now sitting in Pasco County jail.