Witnesses say it was a full moon today after a local woman was heard berating Cedar Grove school officials for their lack of professionalism and responsibility for the children, namely hers.
One witness, who admitted to being sorry she didn’t think of it first, recounts “she was screaming how they cared more about their money than the physical and mental well being of their own students. She was pretty loud, so they escorted her out to her van. Well, after her and her 4 kids got in, next thing you know, there’s a naked butt wriggling side to side in the passenger window. Then, I’ll be damned if all 4 of her kids didn’t line up and do the same thing. I’m telling you it was the funniest ______ I ever saw. Just wish me and my kids has done it first.”
Although, while many of the eye witnesses fully support this audacious woman, the school did not find it near as entertaining. They are currently pressing charges for inappropriate exposure on school property, and a warrant has been issued. They are currently searching for Hope Perrin, who by many is now known as…. “Luna Lumps.”