A butt crazed tapeworm!?

Steven Francisco (aka Tapeworm) was taken into custody last night after multiple friendsville neighbors called authorities. Apparently Steven Francisco was blowing on several dogs rear ends. When deputies tried apprehending Francisco he tried to flee the area on foot, but officers say due to his “wigger sagging” he was very easily apprehended. When officers brought Francisco in- they found multiple items in his anal cavity. Officers say he had a smart phone (galaxy note), two cheeseburgers ( one with a few bites out of it), a tub of Vaseline, and a large vibrator, and a pack of “d” batteries. On his person he had 11 bear claws and 7 jumbo honey buns. When questioned about his stash of sweets he kept saying “it’s just a hustle”.