Alex Andrejek, local Joliet drunk and eater of twinkies, shared a Channel 23 News story ealier this evening and his reaction wasnt so calming.
“I was in my room eating twinkies as usual,” Alex mumbled, “When I stumbled upon this article on the internet.” Alex claimed he never read an article before in his life. But when he read the title of the article with the word “Drinking” in it, he knew it was important.
“I think this is redicilous….I already experienced my twenty-first birthday when I turned twenty one. I don’t think it’s fair that I have wait that long again. I mean, you don’t see them changing the height requirements on the kids rollercoaster to my height. Well that would be cool, actually. You know, it’s not fair that those rollercoasters only allow for people under five feet.”
Alex became side tracked and recalled early childhood experiences. But when asked how this new law would change his life he had no straight answer.
” I think that my life will be changed forever. Well, I guess I will still drink my moms beer. Sometimes there’s also Scöl Vodka that I make martini’s with. Come to think of it, I guess not a lot will change.”
Alex stuffed a twinkie in his mouth and he trailed off. He then cracked open a beer and started singing Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman” in an awkward, ear-numbing falsetto.