In the early morning hours of Friday June 30 2017, a warrant was served on local resident and master grower, Rebecca Wyatt, for suspicion of operating an illegal cannabis grow and moonshine distillery out of her small town 2 bed room house. The operation was carried out by a “joint” task force.
Wyatt was found to be in possession of 1000 fully mature Cannabis Sativa plants known as Super SylvarFireStorm OG Kush, her own personally developed Sativa dominant hybrid strain, along with a 150 gallon moonshine still.
Wyatt was home at the time of the warrant being served but authorities seem to be having difficulties locating Wyatt inside of the residence among the sea of green. Due to her vertically challenged stature, law enforcement officers initially could not locate Wyatt in the sea of green, according to a neighbor who watched the situation unfold. Another account of the events from bystanders indicate that while Wyatt did not resist arrest, she apparently was observed “prairie dogging” around law enforcement officers as they waded through weed, while throwing skittles and screaming “Taste the rainbow Po-Po!”
LEO then attempted to use K-9 units to subdue Ms. Wyatt to no avail as their K-9 companions succumbed to the effects of the over powering super-weed and took to eating the previously thrown skittles while “frolicking among the flowers”. The dogs then promptly destroyed a side room believed to be Wyatts kitchen.
Formal charges have not yet been filed. Of the responding 25 law enforcement agents involved in the bust, inclusive of six K-9 officers, from 4 agencies, only 3 have been located. 16 officers and all 6 dogs remain in Wyatts home, ….somewhere.
“We know they are in the dwelling, somewhere,” said a LEO spokesperson. ” We just can’t see through the smoke and steam, from the weed and still.” The LEO spokesperson also stated that occasionally, hysterical laughter has been heard from inside the residence but the only physical sign of the officers were their collars, badges and uniforms hanging from the tallest plants. “The trail of skittles has gone cold…we may have lost our entire police force today” said the official.
Attempts to locate the officers by way of using donuts and snausages on fishing poles has also proven unsuccessful. Shortly after realizing many officers had not emerged from the residence, it became apparent that Wyatt also possessed a hidden cache of munchies under the the subflooring stocked with a years supply of Entenmanns donut variety packs, Jack Links jerky, cookies and White Lightning. A photo of the stockpile remains is attached.
All remain missing including Wyatt. Police are urging Wyatts friends and family to not attempt to locate Wyatt themselves for fear that they will also not return..
“We will update the public as soon as we can see straight and return from the buffet line.” was the final statement given by police on the matter.
And if you believed she would ever get herself caught, you, my friend, are a blooming idiot. Gotcha!!😂😂😂