British Immigrant Arrested For Drug Possession

A British Immigrant to America, Robert Thom, was arrested early Thursday morning after police were called to his residence in Dallas, Texas.
Thom refused to open the door for local officials, who were responding to a report of ‘loud music’ and ‘yelling’ coming from within the home.
Police breeched the door less than an hour later, only to find Mr. Thom asleep on his kitchen table.
Authorities were surprised to find over 72 ounces of cocaine and a samurai sword.
The sword was recovered from another bedroom located within the residence. The schedule 1 narcotics were found inside Thom’s rectum, conveniently shaped like a dick.
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