Civil War Historian J.D. Petruzzi Named Historian In Residence for the White House

President Donald Trump recently added a staff position at the West Wing of the White House – that of Historian in Residence. The position was added to advise the President, his cabinet, and Executive Office staff on historical matters. “History is important to me and all my folks here at the White House, especially when we’re making decisions based on historical matters. No one is better at history than the great, fabulous J.D. Petruzzi. An added plus is he likes to eat his Kentucky Fried Chicken with a fork, too!”
“I’m completely humbled and honored by the appointment,” Petruzzi stated in a phone interview this morning. “It’ll take some getting used to the new position, but I’ve already opened a Twitter account and I’m ready to go. Let’s make America historical again!”