On Tuesday June 29th 2017 around 3:45 p.m. approximately 10 miles east of Goodland Kansas the Kansas Highway Patrol performed a traffic stop on a Colorado man driving a Ford F350. The man, later identified as one Joseph Hewitt of Golden Colorado, was detained for suspicious Behavior.
After a routine and thorough search of Hewitt vehicle no narcotics or marijuanas were recovered. Dority’s state it was at this time that Hewitt became very volatile and combative. Verbally berating the Kansas Highway Patrol decorated officers with a barrage of insults including but not limited to the questioning of their sexual orientation insults against their parental figures and their genitalia.
Authorities attempted to subdue Hewitt and after a physical struggle Hewitt escaped with both deputies service weapons and their police cruiser.
Hewitt clearly suffering mental conditions from the use of the marijuana’s, drove the deputies police cruisers through cattle fields doing donuts and figure eights subsequently bearing the Cruiser in the mud. The to Kansas Highway Patrol deputies pursued Hewitt on foot. It is believed that Hewitt set a trap for the deputies. He quickly returned to his vehicle and sped away towards the state line.
The quick thinking and terrific police work quickly caught up with Hewitt approximately 3 miles from the Colorado state border a high-speed Pursuit entailed. The pursuit was reminiscent of the early 90s Los Angeles Police Department pursuit of OJ Simpson. It was reported that the pursuit reached speeds of upwards of 70 miles an hour. Allegedly smoke could be seen billowing from the driver side of Hewitt vehicle presumably a marijuana.
Upon reaching the state border the Colorado State Patrol had a roadblock set up to ensnare Hewitt according to the Kansas Highway Patrol that were quickly following in Pursuit. Upon passing the state line Hewitt rather than being detained was greeted with high fives and more bags of marijuana by the local authorities. In what Witnesses are describing as the most epic battle of the century a water balloon fight and Nerf gun war broke out between the two governing authorities.
On the Colorado side mental instability reigned King with the bearing of their backsides and middle fingers towards the good honest Christian Kansas authorities. Just going to show the evils of the marijuana. It has been proven that marijuana causes extreme delusions mental instabilities cases of insanity cannibalism bestiality incest murder rape and every inconceivable horror that could be imagined.
A local Good Samaritan freed the deputies who were found handcuffed to each other in a lude sexual position without clothes in the mud near their stolen police cruiser.
It is believed that Hewitt escaped scot-free unpunished and is residing in the mountains of Colorado on his cult compound where the marijuanas are given to all members before infant sacrafices!
Just say no to the pot! Not even once!
Authorities have agreed that Hewitt has been stopped and searched numerous times passing through the state of Kansas however no narcotics or marijuana have been recovered, for more on this story maybe you should go to Target and buy yourself a sense of humor.