Danville man arrested for indecent exposure

Danville native Kevin Parker was arrested earlier today for allegedly exposing himself in front of residents of the Liberty Village retirement community. Danville Police described the scene as awkward and disturbing, stating that Mr. Parker stripped down naked and began sneaking up on the unsuspecting residents, placing his genitals on the elderly citizens.

Several occupants complained of shoulder pain, blackened eyes, and chin contusions from the weight of Mr. Parkers giant schlong being slammed repeatedly on the victims.

Mr. Parker is being charged with several counts of indecent exposure, public nuisance, and illegal mushroom stamping. For more on this story go to www.urAsucka.com