Local Businessman Arrested for Drunk and Disorderly Conduct

The owner of a local business in the Rolla Community has been arrested and charged with drunk and disorderly conduct. Lawrence “Laury” West, owner of Kingdom Kia was arrested last night at his house without incident.

Neighbors reported, at around midnight, a large Labrador Retriever, running and barking loose in the Southwoods Subdivision, off Highway O.

When animal control arrived, Mr. West proceeded to block access to the dog and was apparently inebriated, and dressed only in underwear.

Police were summoned, at which time Mr. West stated if he was arrested, President Trump would be here shortly to get him out, and all “democrats and liberal losers could go to hell” including all of his neighbors, which he stated “were illegal Chinese immigrants living off the government while being employed at MS and T.”

Mr West was not available for comment today, and apparently was not at his place of business, where our reporter was told “Mr West was on vacation.”

We will update this story as details become available.

Written by Psycho Joe and Crazy Mika at FNN, Your most trusted source of Fake News.