LOCAL CLANTON MAN CHARGED WITH HOMOEROTIC BEASTIALITY

Local police responded late Thursday evening to the 200 block in Clanton, Al. For “weird screams” coming from the back yard. Police say they responded and found Jonny Cisson naked chasing two chickens. Sources report Mr. Cisson was screaming obscenities at the chickens. Authorities doctrines the crime scene as a horrific site with feathers everywhere. Chief Goldblook claims he has not seen anything so sidistic in all 40 years on the force. Mr. Cisson did offer a statement to the media, “There was a skeeter on my peter and I wanted them to wack it off.” Mr Cisson is held without bail.