Local Man and Baltimore native, John Preis, wins record $16.M in tournament

A local man has nearly bankrupted playboy mogul, Dan Blizerian, in what some are calling the greatest upset in Texas Hold Em’ history.

John Preis, a local man and relative unknown to the Texas Hold Hold Em’ community, walked on to an public tournament and dominated for 15 rounds.

It is estimated that Preis has accumulated $16,000,000 in the course of the three day tournament.

Mr. Preis, could not be reached for comment in his private jet but a rep said that he plans to buy out a portion of President Donald Trump’s enterprises and possibly run for office with Elon Musk as his running mate.

President Trump had not prepared a rebuttal despite several attempts to reach him, as he has a busy schedule of putting his orange balls on your forehead for reading this entire story…