29 June 2017- Today in Excelsior Springs Missouri a local man was found in sunshine park. It was a tragedy of different sorts, as a local binary gender was out exercising this morning, it had stumbled across a man laying across the swing. The situation at first appeared as though it was a drunk man passed out at the park, but when closer realized half the man’s head was missing. After further investigations, the man was identified as fuck you lol.
Local man found dead
