Local Man Strikes It Rich

A local man bought a Power Ball ticket and hit all of the numbers last night. The winnings total, before taxes, $25,000,000.00. When asked about his winnings all the man said was “It’s all mine Bitch” and promptly ran away from us. He was last seen driving in the direction of Bass Pro Shops, the boat section to be exact. For more on the story, wake up! No, you’re not rich because someone in your family now has $25,000,000.00! Hahahahaha!