It’s no surprise that this local Tennessee man is wanted and on the loose again. The last time a warrant was issued was back in 2015 when the supsect stole 22 overly large dildos from a nearby adult store “Hot and Horny.” They recovered 21 of them after possessing a search warrant for his single wide trailer and piece of shit Dodge Ram. Speaking of Ram, authorities found the 22nd adult toy rammed up the suspects anus. After a thorough wash they discovered it was molded after a penis of a Clydesdale. He was quoted saying “I’d ride that horse all night long til I die.”
Today police received a phone call regarding the suspect again, only this time he’s in much deeper than before (pun intended). Authorities have acquired information from unknown sources that this man is now hoarding goats inside his trailer, and making his cousin Vickie perform sexual acts on the animals while he tries to lick his own elbow with a thumb up his ass. This is what Instagram does, please beware.
An image of the suspects gay ass truck is posted, it’ll be extremely easy to spot such a piece of shit rolling coal down the streets of our beautiful state.