Plans to reduce HGV traffic in central London received a huge boost today as Professor Wilfred Licker, (or Willy as he prefers to be known) of Watford Polytechnic revealed his amazing shrinking machine.
Mr Licker has been working on the project for many years and has finally revealed the details of his ambitious plan.
“I believe that if I shrink everything to one fiftieth of its original size, all goods will be able to be transported into London by my specially trained monkeys on pushbikes. Those HGVs drivers a filthy sorts and we don’t want them here”
Unfortunately Mr licker has not yet developed a machine to reverse the shrinkage.
Northern MP Geoffrey Sykes was asked his opinion on Willy Lickers proposals and said “A couldn’t gi two fucks what the do in that London, therall chuffing poofters any road. Tha can’t even get gravy frum chippy, fuck em”
So exciting times ahead for the city of London.