Missouri man arrested for espionage

Missouri resident Glen Gaither was arrested early this morning in a local raid led by the FBI, the CIA, the DEA, and with several local agencies assisting. 45 year old Gaither has been charged with aiding and abetting the enemy for assisting George Soros in populating the internet with fake news accounts targeted at blaming President Trump’s victory on Russian interference. The charges stem from war time rules regulating spreading false stories to create government distress. If found guilty he could face death by head. In addition to the esionpage related charges, he was also charged with attempting to destroy or hide evidence. When the FBI entered his residence he was found with 8 condoms stuffed full of flash drives. 3 more were removed from his anus subsequently.
We weren’t able to talk to Gaither, but his wife did say the condom and flash drive thing was unrelated and it was almost Friday and that was the normal autobot roleplay date night so she’s pretty sure it was a prop and not Russian data, although he liked to keep it authentic during the sessions and the drives could have had Russian data if he was planning on being a Russian autobot and reiterated it was always a surprise what she’d fine up there so she couldn’t really say.